The River and The Waterfall

The trickle and the creek

Became the river and the waterfall

The River and the waterfall I hear


The holes in the ground

Became pools in themselves

Pools in themselves reflect the sky


The leaves on the trees

Are falling to the floor

To the floor they are coated yellow and brown


Even after the downfall and the thunder

Even after the mist and the clouds


Nothing stops the out pour

With you I want to do nothing, but something is holding me back.

Non bio degradable orange peels.

I'm more okay than you can imagine.

Today's improverb:

"I believe it's not butter."

Improverbs

I decided to remember some of the phrases that my mind comes up with. So, I'm writing them down as I go throughout the day, and I'll share some here on my blog. This is somewhat similar to weird phrases you wold find on Sobe bottle caps. Today's Improverb is:

"Prepare yourself for an evening of gold standard proportions."

(I picture this said in a deep, intensely hushed voice like a commercial for a new t.v. series)

Your music inspires me,

And makes me want to write something that's nothing like it.

It's not the song you sing,

It's the way you sing it.

Movement and tone, voices and noises

The telling of stories, and random outbursts

I don't hear what you do

I hear what you see.

mortality and being shaken from

Reflection

Back in September, someone challenged me to write a song every day for the month of October. Before this, I think at least a month had passed since the last time I even picked up my guitar. But I decided to have a go at it. Most of the time I didn't feel like sitting down to write a song, but I made it a priority and put less pressure on myself to make "the perfect song."
I committed to come up with something for each day. Most of what I was doing was playing around with various sounds and instruments. I gave myself freedom to try some different things. I got into the habit of writing lyrics or ideas down as soon as I thought of them. I think I've lost tons of song ideas in the past simply because I didn't write them down or I was quick to discard them for whatever reason.
So, I'm finding it's better to start out with more and to trim down from there. In writing a paper, you want to gather all the information, all the quotes or examples from various sources. Then you piece it all together into something more polished. My hope is to do the same thing with my music. What I have recorded here on my blog is all of the pieces.
One difficult part of writing a song every day is that you don't always know what to write about. You don't always feel inspired. You don't always feel motivated. But I did feel moved by stories that came through friends and family. Also, I enjoy writing about nature and seasons.
I'm going to take a break now from writing so many songs. My next goal is to make some audio recordings of the songs that I recorded as video. Then, I'm thinking of focusing more on words. I'm thinking of doing a poem every day for a month. I feel I have grown so much this month from this experience. I'm happy to be able to share the experience.

October Sunset

October 30

Lagoon

In Between Places

October 27

Moon

What Our Lives Say

Seeing Sufjan Stevens tonight!

October 24

Shower Shelter

October Stroll

October 21

October 20

Sweet Conundrum

You Would Cry Too

I've been thinking about all the crazies out there lately. There are so many people who honestly believe they are doing good things when in reality they are doing so much harm to those around them and to themselves. This song is about those people, but more specifically about people who abuse animals through neglect and poor conditions. It's just a sad situation for everyone.




Sick in the head, you're a danger to yourself and a few others

You're the only one who could be right in this fantasy you're living

You're protecting your babies, but you're killing them off
If you could see how crazy you are you would cry
You would cry too.

You live in the house that has been abandoned by all other people

The kitties and the doggies, they are starving, but they love you all the same

------------------

Sick in your bed, you're alive, but you look like you're dead

You think you're their savior and the perfect homemaker, but you're not

October 17

Caught My Snot

Christi, the first verse is about you. Thanks for being an instrument of God to me.

Whom Shall I Fear?

It's not that I am fearless. It's that I put my hope in someone much greater than myself.

October Summer

October 13

October 12

Bittersweet

I had a good conversation with a friend tonight about the beauty of all of life brought together into something more complete. Life is bittersweet, with all kinds of ups and downs, with exciting times and with boring times. I am reminding myself tonight that God makes my life beautiful as one whole masterpiece. If my life is a painting, I am somewhere in the middle of being painted. My life can appear confusing or bland or incomplete at times. But I must remember that every stroke of the brush has a bigger purpose (even if I don't feel that way in the midst of it).



Bittersweet ocean, up and down
Jostles and knocks me all around

Bittersweet story, long and dim
Will we wait to find out what shaped him

Bittersweet Monday, but mostly bland
Will you let your heart be stirred by His hand

You take it all and make it new
Throw it all together in a bittersweet stew
It takes some time and coordination
It's all leading up to something with anticipation

Bittersweet sunset in the cold
What a beauty to behold

October 10

This one sounds Halloween-ish.

October 9

Still two days behind, but I'm getting there.

A Snow Dream

Playing catch up now. This is from October 8th.

October 7

I admit this song is terrible, but I do like the ending part because it's fun to create mind pictures along with the sounds. I imagine different footsteps in a small old fashion western town. What types of images does your mind create with the different sounds?

When You Know (or at least when you think you do)

Human Zoo

This is a song about recognizing that I am a part of the madness of humanity. I can say that everyone is just crazy, but I am not merely the spectator I think I am. I am part of the human zoo.

Autumn Is Here

Song # 3

Legacy: A Song For Eisley

You were born in mid September
Was a day way will remember
Peace of God was on our shoulders
Was a day we will remember

We're so sad to let you go

And your legacy will live on

In your memory and the way that we live

We'll be thankful for each day that God gives us

Tiny baby loves her mother
Listens to her lullaby
She's so glad to be her daughter
She's the girl we will remember

Child of God, a living power
Gift that came down from above
Miracle, we recognize you
We gave you all of our love

You were born in mid September
Was a day we will remember
Peace of God was on our shoulders
She's the girl we will remember

First of 31 Songs

Very sloppy, yes, I know. I don't expect to come up with masterpieces in these 31 days, but I hope to have fun trying out different ideas and just challenging myself. And maybe some of these songs will spur on ideas for future more complete songs.

Court ordered fun

One place I haven't been to in awhile is the beach. I went to Laguna Beach yesterday just to read, reflect, and chill. I felt like that time was really great for connecting with God. There's something peaceful about the rhythm of the waves. All of the extra things in life seemed to be washed away.
Today, I went back to Laguna Beach, but I went there to help clean the beach. I received a traffic ticket a few months back for a rolling stop. I went to court and requested community service as an alternative to paying a ticket I could not afford. I called up Save Our Shores to ask about volunteering opportunities. They host beach cleaning events once a month. The man who supervised today handed me a checklist with all kinds of different items on it. Searching for garbage on the beach was very similar to a scavenger hunt. It was interesting to see what we could find. I found an unopened beer can, an unopened Pepsi, part of a computer, human poop wrapped in a paper towel, a pair of socks in the ocean, plenty of broken glass, plastic wrappers, a butane gas cartridge can. There were only 3 of us volunteers cleaning up Laguna Beach. We sent about 100 pounds of garbage and recycling away from the beach today. The experience was very rewarding because I know that I was involved in preserving something that is so beautiful. After we carried our loot to the road to be picked up, I spent about 30 minutes just enjoying the beach. I took my shoes off and dipped my feet in the water. I saw a seal pop his head up out of the water just a few feet from the shore. As I was leaving, I saw other people showing up at the beach to enjoy the beauty and the peace, and I felt a sense of pride and ownership. I feel thankful that something that was such a disturbance to my life a few months ago has become a mandate for me to make time to be refreshed. No amount of vegging can really refresh me like that.

Song Every Day

A fellow songwriter invited me to join himself and others in writing a song every day in the month of October. I haven't written anything for months now. But I figured I would try this challenge and not worry about how terrible the songs end up. I'm just going to do it and see what I come up with. So there should be a new blog every day in October.

Trees Make Their Stand

They stand together tall

They want to be a forest when they grow up

They seem so proud despite how small

Simply being there is enough

A Better Story

I'm writing this blog to enter a contest to win a trip to Portland for a seminar on what makes a good life story. A better story to me is not like some grandiose dream. I have all kinds of desires. I can envision what they might look like in their completeness. I want to be more successful in my songwriting. I want to be married and have children. I want to be involved in helping other people heal and discover how much God truly loves them.
I like to dream. I'm naturally introverted. Over the years, though, I have been challenged to step beyond myself. I learned to lead groups of people into worship, and I learned to lead a team. I grew from working with teens who struggled with addictions. I learned to speak up for myself and also to be an example in humility when I fell short. This all has come through a continuing state of growing and wanting to grow. This is what living a better story means to me.
I want to live in the process. I want to struggle. I want to suffer if I know that my pain will result in something much greater than myself. I have a love/hate relationship with this process. I grew up glued to the television and the computer, always looking for ways to entertain myself. And that always takes me away from God. I'm not saying that being entertained is wrong. I'm saying that living to be entertained is wrong. That's not why I'm here. The idea of living a better story is a calling to really live. How does that specifically play out? Well, it means making a phone call, spending time with people in meaningful conversations. It means trying new things. It means going for a run and pushing myself when I would rather zone out or focus inwardly on my anxious thoughts. It means measuring myself honestly with scripture and struggling to understand and live how God wants me to live. I have not "arrived." And I don't ever want to assume that I have arrived. But I am living this story. I am learning and growing.
When I read A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, I was encouraged and inspired. I was inspired by Donald Miller's story and by the stories of people who are part of his story. After reading Donald Miller's latest book, I felt drawn to a book called Relational Intelligence by Steve Saccone. I'm still reading this book. I'm learning mostly how relationally unintelligent I am. But more importantly, I'm struggling with learning important life skills that can have a major impact on all my relationships. How does this tie in with story? Saccone writes about being a story collector and having genuine interest in the stories of other people. I'm learning that my story isn't merely my story. I am part of a much bigger story. And all of our stories intermingle.
From the Living A Better Story seminar, I would hope to be inspired by connecting and hearing other peoples' stories. Also, I would expect to be challenged. Sharing my story in front of a large group of people would be scary and humbling, but I know I would grow from the experience!

www.donmilleris.com/conference

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

And now for the "Doing Stuff" portion of this blog...

I've been running consistently (at least three days a week) for a few months now. More recently I've been running up and down the road for a total of over 3 miles, but today I ran the opposite direction and ran over 4 miles. Here are my stats:

Time: 10 minutes per mile
Longest Distance: 4.25 miles
Amount of push-ups before and after running: 35
Number of Peet's customers who said they saw me running: 2
Number of skunks passed while running: 2 (at the same time)
Highest elevation: I don't know
Funnest places to run: On trails, in the forest
Scariest place to run: In the dark

Running is great for your body, your heart, and your state of mind. Running has been a great release for me. It pushes me beyond myself. It helps me deal with stress and anxiety in a healthy way. And I feel good about myself when I run. I feel proud today that I pushed myself to run farther than I've ever ran before.

Windmills

Windmills on big hills are turning in turn

Lost in dry yellow is where they will learn

To stand understanding their season will come

Patches of green bringing hope of freedom

Windmills on big hills are turning in trust

Not always wanting but knowing they must

Push on through parched grass and bear it with poise

The sound of their turning, an unswerving noise

guitar jam

On The Other Side

I struggle to live always on the other side of the mirror

The place where you give everything and you fear nothing

Where your eyes are open and all your senses alive

When what you believe is how you live

Neither pain nor suffering can hold me down

No, they rather propel me and chisel me

Into this inverted bigger reality

Why?

Why let this happen?

Because a plan is set in motion and cannot be stopped

I can close my eyes and pretend I never knew

But I don't want to hide anymore

I want to live

In Hope, In Trust, In Relentless Anticipation

I want to be tuned in and involved

To Collaborate and Contribute

The other side is Real

More real than this concrete outer shell

Ginger Glazed Salmon (The Joel Way)

"What is the Joel way?" You ask? The Joel way takes it's sweet time bringing all the ingredients together to be beautiful with time. The recipe Robin Anderson passed on to me (Yaay for the Andersons!) calls for bottled ginger and freshly squeezed lime juice. I think you can buy lime juice already squeezed. Anyway, I bought ginger root and minced it along with the garlic. And I bought limes which I hand-squeezed. What an awesome mess!


And the finished product. Bam!

Step Off Your Ladder

Someone's been summoned to step off his ladder

To look straight into the eyes of people who matter

Words and posture, frowns and pointed finger

Causing shame and bitterness that lingers

Step off from your ladder, it holds you apart

It puts out the impression that you haven't a heart

See the pained eyes that desire relation

Walk with them and lead them from a servant's station

The Things I Want To Say

There are things that I want to say.

I want to describe. I want to bring light to what I see.

But I cannot say them, I have to let them be.

And so I am dim. I am silent and stirred.

What is felt is trapped inside me without spoken word.

I bear with and watch with my eyes half closed.

Damming up the river of things that I know.




Shouldn't I talk? Shouldn't I share? Shouldn't I show that I care?

No, I watch helplessly, all too aware.

Shouldn't I cry out and sound out the alarm?

No, I stay quiet, I do much less harm.



There are things that I want to say.


I look above, I look at precipices so grand.

Down through the clouds and across the swollen land.

There are things so beautiful that no man can contain.

Like a gentle soul or a single drop of rain.

Even now in writing, these things are diminished.

The best I can do is to be a speechless witness.

Through, On, Over, Down, Up, Around, and Through

Through the forest

And on the sand

Dodging droppings and hoof marks

Thorny vines and old roots

Leaping over ledges

And escaping mud pits

Down to the river

Seated still on a bench of branch



Back up from the river

Around those mud pits

Ladders of ledges

Old roots and thorny vines

Familiar hoof marks and piles

Tilling the sand again

Scraping through the forest

And to the road

Open mic 5/24/10

Every once in awhile I drop in on open mic night at The Ugly Mug. It's always interesting. Here's a few pics of me being the rock star that I am.







The audience watching me intently. "What's he going to do next? Make our wildest dreams come true?!" The answer is yes!

A Running Poem (with music)

See "A Running Poem" for lyrics

A New Arrangement

Me: Well, hello there life! Come on in. Take a seat!

Life: Uh, what's this all about?

Me: I'd like to have a little talk with you. It's nothing to be nervous about. Just standard procedure.

(Life gives me a blank stare)

Me: Over recent years I have willingly taken whatever you gave me. I've been very patient and understanding. I've allowed you the freedom to do your own thing...

(I allow life to process all that was just stated)

Me: Also, I have heard numerous reports concerning you. People are saying things like "life just happens" or "that's life."

Life: That's true! These are facts that have been proven over the centuries and-

Me: Hold up, life! Let me stop you there. Simmer down now.

(Life is stunned)

Me: The reason I brought you here today is to let you know there are going to be a few changes.

Life: (swallows dryly) Changes?

Me: Yes. Changes. You see, I've listened to you for a long time, but it's time now for you to start listening to me. Let's not forget who works for who here. Also, you should expect to hear some of the same reports about me that I've heard about you in the past.

Life: Like?

Me: Like, "That's just Joel" and "Joel happens" and "he'll do what he'll do." I know. It's a lot to take in.

Life: (wide-eyed) Yeah.

Me: And I wouldn't put this on you if I didn't think you could handle it. (Pats life on the back). That will be all for now. You just sit back and watch me happen. Hang in there, buddy!

Life: (laughs nervously) Okay.

A Running Poem

A sweet, gentle breeze
Blows petals down from trees
And spreads across the street for my feet to trod

A hopeful steady breath
Sets tempo to my steps
And gives and takes life simultaneously

A beating drum heart
Clutches and plods forward
And dances with joy at the voice it's been given

Overcast

Big Bad Brazen

Curtain Clouds Cover

Damp Dulcet Day

What kind of poem is this?

Fun and peaceful in

The backyard

Hiking and thinking

And running

Cocoon

This is my newest song. It's still a baby, so if you're going to laugh at anybody let it be me and my tired cracking voice. But you just wait. This song will grow up to be...just dang awesome. I'm stoked just to share this with you despite the poor recording. So, please keep in mind that this is only Cocoon's introduction! Okay, enough lame apologies.



"You are living inside a cocoon. Self-protecting inside your cocoon. Should you dare to crawl out all naked. You would find that you're still breathing. Don't let the cobwebs call me in. I've got a good life, and I don't want to waste it. Don't tangle me in. Cause I'm outstretched and you can't catch me. Wake up, wake up, and open those heavy eyes. Don't give it up like there's no more else to gain. It takes some strength and hopeful tenacity to be resilient in a state of suffering. I was living inside a cocoon. Paralyzed inside my cocoon. One day I dared to crawl out all naked. Was surprised to find i was still breathing."

uke jam

Playing some uke

Food...

Last night's dinner

Comfortable Prison

Long Way Home

This song is about being unfinished and in process, recognizing my shortcomings.

audio books

I have really gotten into audio books. I enjoy listening to them when I go to sleep. More recently I discovered audio book podcasts. These are awesome because they are free. And sometimes they can be better than ones that are sold even. It depends on the voice. I don't know if I have the best reading voice, but I found this cool website through the podcasts I was listening to. You can volunteer to read whole books or parts of books. They need to be in the public domain, so most of these readings are classics. Anyway, here is me reading a section from Les Miserables. Did you know the book is five volumes long?!

http://upload.librivox.org/share/uploads/ge/lesmiserables_vol4_26_hugo 1.mp3

I hope this doesn't sound too cheezy!

Chicken and Sausage Paella

I found this crockpot recipe from my roommate's cookbook. I haven't been able to cook for awhile because a tree fell on my cabin, but I finally have a kitchen again in my temporary living situation. Sitting down to a real meal is so rewarding when it turns out well. Chicken thighs, smoked turkey sausage, bell peppers, tomatoes, onions, garlic, peas, turmeric, pepper, thyme, all served over rice. uh...yes!

Here is a painting I made a week or so ago. I think it was mostly inspired by Mario Bros. I am mostly proud of the little froggy I painted on the red mushroom. Thanks to Kendra for the use of her paints and canvas! 'Twas a nice, relaxing evening.

On The Shelf

I made this video with pictures I had on my computer. I haven't owned a camera for a long time. This is my most recent recording. It's a song that reminds me that sharing myself with other people is important.